


No matter how bad the past hurts

by RubyGirl35



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, I love my boys, M/M, Oneshot, PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-02
Updated: 2018-03-02
Packaged: 2019-03-26 04:27:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13850091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RubyGirl35/pseuds/RubyGirl35
Summary: Fluffy Stormpilot oneshot, Finn is reminded of his harmful past, and Poe is there to comfort his boy.Archive, your lack of Stormpilot disturbs me.I'm tired, cold, and in a weird mood; the best time to write a fic!Oh boy, here we go!





	No matter how bad the past hurts

**Author's Note:**

> Pretty shitty, but I'm tired, and I wanted to write about Finn struggling, because I've never written it before. I'm still pretty proud of it.

Steam billowed from the back of the X-wing as Poe stepped down, feet touching solid ground. Although the crowd of voices that echoed past his ears was somewhat overwhelming, as he removed his helmet, all he could see was those that he cared about all huddled in a group. 

Rey, Rose, BB8, Leia. 

Finn. 

Everyone noticed the slight limp as he walked over, but it wasn't anything too serious. A small impact on his ship, a tiny dent on the underbelly, wasn't enough for a serious injury. At the most, a sprained ankle. He'd gotten away pretty lucky, if truth be told, but it wasn't at all surprising from the best pilot in the Resistance. 

Rey hugged him first; gave him a small smile, meaning 'I hope you're okay.' Of course he was. This was nothing. 

Then, BB8, his best friend. 

"I'm okay, buddy. I missed you too." He shouldn't have knelt down, not really, but he did. Poe does what Poe wants. No matter what anyone else will say. 

Rose next, but it was just a passing greeting. A 'good job', and a 'glad you're back safe'. 

Then Leia. A witty comment from both sides, and a small, loving hug. Just like one a mum should give, and Poe certainly loved her like one. 

Pulling away, he stood to face Finn, who was shying away from the rest. Poe watched his eyes. They would sometimes look up at him, glancing, gazing, but then they would dart back down. A deer caught in headlights.  
He stepped closer to him, and his eyes finally locked and stayed steady. 

"Hey."  
"Hi." 

Finn flung his arms around him, hugging him tightly as he nestled his head into the crook of his neck. Poe immediately felt the warmth, past the shaking of his body, and the uncertainty that hung in the air. He hugged him back, and that tension disappeared. 

"I'm fine."  
"I know that." 

Still, he didn't stop shaking. 

~

"Poe?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Do you need anything else?" 

Poe chuckled as he lay back, head resting uncomfortably against the wall of his bed as he tried to set up a holovid, Finn hovering. He moved his leg for what was probably the a millionth time, feeling an itching sensation on the bruised skin of his ankle. Finn noticed, scowling a little. 

"Nope, I'm all good." 

Finn had already done the following: got some food and drink from the canteen, and fetched his holo for him. He offered to make up his bed for him, but Poe wouldn't allow him to do such an easy task. It was surprising enough that he had convinced him to rest. After all, it wasn't a serious injury. It was just a little irritable, and sure, there was a little pain that went along with it, but that was it. Really. 

"Okay." Finn stepped towards the door, but soon stopped in his tracks.  
"Hold on." He turned back around to face him. "Did you not want to stay? Watch a vid with me?"  
It took a while for him to give a response, but he eventually nodded, and sat down next to him. Close, but not close enough.  
"Hey, are you okay?" Finn nodded slowly, but Poe noticed the solemn expression in his eyes. He turned away, pausing his attempt at starting a film to urge a more honest answer from his, whatever he was supposed to be. "Bud?" 

Finn broke away, looking at his hands. Uncovered. Weak. Poe noticed.  
"Tell me."  
As soon as their hands touched, that's when he was overcome. Tears started flooding, cascading down his cheeks in a effortless waterfall.  
It was a sudden moment, and Poe didn't know how to react. He didn't want to comfort him too much, because he knew that he'd let his feelings show through. But, he couldn't just do nothing, could he? 

Fuck it. 

Poe moved his free hand up to wipe the tears away, keeping a strong, serious facade. What Finn was about to say was something that he wasn't ready for, either.  
"Please. Stop."  
He pulled his hand back, but soon realised that he wasn't talking directly to him. He was deep in thought, lost in a troubled past.  
"Stop." Soft, weak, but still so beautiful.  
"I don't want to hurt anymore." Voice broken, Finn's stretching gaze also snapped back into reality. Too late. Much too late. His hand had already slipped out, and his eyes cleared to see Poe nursing his jaw. 

"I- I'm sorry. I-" Finn stammered, and before Poe could reassure him, he spoke again. "I didn't mean to, I just-"  
"I'm okay." Poe smiled, nodding. "Really." He began chuckling lightly, throwing him a soft smirk. "You can pack a good blow, I'll give you that." Bad choice of words, Poe. Very bad choice.  
"Heh, thanks, I think." 

Poe ran his thumb over his cheek, wiping the rest of the tears off. "Now, you gonna tell me what's wrong?"  
Finn nodded, clearing his throat in an attempt to remove the heat from his cheeks at the same time. Poe's hand slipped down, and they lay back together.  
Heaving out a sigh, he fidgeted, and began.  
"The First Order. It doesn't really have a nice family feel to it like the Resistance does." Although he joked, Poe agreed with a serious tone. "When you're new there, the older troopers feel like having a little fun with ya. And, their idea of fun isn't exactly what we'd call it." 

...

"What did they do, Finn? How did they hurt you?"  
"They beat me. Every night, for a month. Until they got bored, or a new one came along. They liked inflicting pain onto people; the pain they felt inside themselves, at being taken away from their families. They passed it on to me, as if I hadn't had enough." 

...

"Hey..."  
Poe grabbed Finn's hand in his, thumb running over rough fingers. This was too forward, too quickly.  
Finn looked to him, and at once felt his heart thump.  
"It's okay. It's okay to be honest. It's okay to hurt."  
Finn shook his head, eyes tracing Poe's lips. "I don't want to hurt anymore." 

That was it. Their first kiss.  
Rushed, messy, wet and salty from tears. Warm, soft, caressing. Everything felt better.  
They both panted against each other, a light chuckle escaping both lips. 

No matter how bad the past hurts, it hurts less knowing that I'm going into the future with you.


End file.
